thenerdyogre

Well, a lot of things happen since the last time I was active on DA. I don't spend a lot of time on the internet now, perhaps what I was just doing were lurking and stalking at some good works for reference. I promise myself to be more productive this year. Anyway, I quit the office now I think I shall try to focus more on my art

Hello Again DevArt, it's been a while..

..
Disini aku berbaring, di lantai keramik penuh debu
Mataku menatap datar ke langit-langit,
Menerawang lepas menembus dinding diam itu
Lengan kananku merangkul badan gitar,
jari-jarinya memetik senar serampangan..
Jari kiriku menekan-nekan grip tanpa arah,
berpindah-pindah dari satu nada ke nada lainnya
meski tanpa irama..
Tidak, aku tidak sekarat dan menyerah pada kehidupan
Aku hanya muak, dan bingung pada saat bersamaan.
Entah aku yang salah arah, atau mereka memang tidak perduli,
tetap tak satu pilihan tersebut jadi alasan bosan ku kini
Aku tidak tau apa yang kupikirkan saat ini,
Fokus ku buyar entah kenapa..
Aku terlalu lelah untuk mencoba memahami.
Jadi biarkanlah aku berbaring,
berteman irama acak dalam tatapan hampa..
Paling tidak, untuk malam ini...


.........................
a sleeping problem, or just simply being stressful.

well, I'm not really good at celebrating something; sometimes I just simply forget or ignore some good moments on my life. Like birthday, my graduation, and stuff.. I just don't feel like to celebrate anything, it's just like; "yaaay, it's my XX birthday!" and then I get back to what I was doing.

last new year, I thought I was going to watch some fireworks when the year's changing; but I fell asleep too early. I woke up right in the morning.

Tonight, I was busy revising some works due to the close deadline, I wouldn't notice my own birthday if my girlfriend didn't text me a happy birthday message.

I'm not really good at celebrating something, even my own birthday. I just wish things are going to be okay to the years in front. Happy birthday to me

My Grandmother just passed away a couple days ago. The saddest part was, I couldn't come for her last days, even for the funeral. I'm living all by myself in different town now, it takes likely 10 hours by train or other public transportations to get there. 2 days before the funeral, I called her by phone, she's noted that it was okay if couldn't meet and greet her. She dropped me some good words, telling me not to be sad or worried; life goes on. When my mom called me, telling that Grandma has already passed away, I really didn't know what to feel; it was both glad and sad in the same time. I was glad hearing that her last days were sorrounded by most relatives and family; be there to comfort her till her last breath. And ofcourse, being sad for my absence.


The reason why I've been less active in DA recently, due to some works I'm working on. This is also become the main obstacle why i can't come to the funeral. It's quiet a multitasking, I took several deadline from different people; most of it about designs and illustrations. For the next, idk, two or three months, I'll be also less active here; since I've signed a contract for  freelance illustrator, working on **** <-- (it's classified, lol).

So I just hoping things will run smoothly, and keep on praying; may My Grandma rest in peace.